Evel Knievel–1938-2007

Each House Office Building has its own United States Postal Service joint, so it’s never a big deal to find one open when another is closed. Having said that, it’s a fun little game to play to walk past one at random times of the day to see if it’s open.

An attempt to put something in the mail today has turned into a little logic puzzle. Signs outside the closest post office indicate that:

• it is closed daily from 10:45 AM to 11:15 AM for “administrative reasons,”
• it would only be open today from 9:00 AM to 3:00 PM, and
• it was currently (10:20 AM) closed but would reopen at 11:00 AM.

So I waited until 11:40 AM to head down there–in case they tacked that daily “administrative reasons” closing onto the end of the 11:00 AM reopen. Still closed, but with one of those little clock signs on the door now with the hands set for noon.

Or maybe midnight–who knows.

Maybe Brown can do something for me.

There’s a poll on the White House website where you can pick your favorite pair of names for this year’s National Thanksgiving Turkeys:

Wing and Prayer
May and Flower
Gobbler and Rafter
Wish and Bone
Truman and Sixty
Jake and Tom

No write-ins allowed, unfortunately–otherwise I would circulate petitions in support of:

Nancy and Harry
Bill and Hill
Joe and Valerie
Ron and Paul

I haven’t been to the Army Band’s Christmas extravaganza at DAR Constitution Hall for a few years–back when Maureen McGovern was there. And was fantastic, as Maureen McGovern always is.

This year, the headliner is Louise Mandrell, who looks downright fetching in this here picture from the Army Band Holiday Festival website:

Downright fetching. I might have to bump her up in my Mandrell Sisters Order of Preference; I used to be strictly an Irlene man.

www.mikehuckabee.com. (Although I’m still undecided. And I like John McCain as well.

Having mentally prepared myself for the task of shoveling the dead rat in the front yard into a trash bag of some sort, I arrived at home to find the neighbor (the mother of she who informed me of the presence of said dead rat earlier today) outside. From her emanated the dumbest question I’ve heard in a long while: “Why did you have a dead rat in your yard?”

Thinking “Because it’s a less culturally offensive lawn decoration than one of those jockey statues with a sign in his hand that you can put your name on,” I said, “No idea. No idea.”

“Well, I took care of it for you because I didn’t want my dog to get ahold of it.”

And I thanked her muchly, because that was a nice thing to do.

Although she could have raked some of our leaves while she was at it. That’s what I was going to do.

When the girl who lives next door greets you in the morning with a hearty “My puppy found a dead rat in your front yard,” you know it’s going to be a special day indeed.

Not all that special, though, except for said dead rat. I have been keeping track of the Events of Each Day in a new notebook; all I have for today is “Sent latest Farm Bill information to Ohio-based staff” and “Dead rat in front yard.”

Oh: also “Chicken Caesar wrap for lunch.” My life is just go-go-go.

I left said rat in said yard, being late for work as it was and facing a gridlock-plagued commute to boot. So it will be there when I’m able to slip out of here at 8:30ish tonight–unless that puppy decides that it wants a snack/chew toy and comes back for it.

If not, at least I get to add “Used snow shovel to put dead rat into garbage bag” to my daily record of events.

All that crap about the culture of corruption under Republican rule in the House–all that about how things were going to be different under the Democrats, with House rules and the rights of all members respected…. No more shenanigans on the House Floor just to guarantee a victory for the majority–all that stuff. Did anyone ever buy that?

House Narrowly Passes Workplace Nondiscrimination Bill

The House Wednesday passed legislation, on a vote of 235-184, that would prohibit employers from discriminating against employees based on their sexual orientation….

Rep. Tammy Baldwin, D-Wis., offered an amendment to add the gender identity language into the bill, but she withdrew it before the House could take a roll-call vote on it….

Earlier in the day, House Republicans called for adjournment in protest of what they considered an unusual provision in the rules for floor debate allowing Baldwin to withdraw her amendment before voting on it….

Rules Committee Chairwoman Louise Slaughter, D-N.Y., was unapologetic about giving Baldwin the ability to withdraw the amendment. Under House rules, members can only withdraw amendments with the unanimous consent of all the members. “We knew she’d never get that,” Slaughter said.

Translation: we knew we couldn’t win, so we cheated.

“‘[W]aterboarding’ is a procedure that makes its victim think he’s going to drown. ‘Teddyboarding’ is a procedure in which the victim actually drowns.”

Members of Congress aren’t good at math. Overheard:

Anonymous Member of Congress #1: “Do you know how many amendments we’ll be considering?”

Anonymous Member of Congress #2: “At least three. I have two and [Anonymous Member of Congress #3] also has two.”

This weekend I bought a copy of Diuretics or Diacritics or whatever it is. Fascinating read. My body thetans are feeling more and more enturbulated with each passing hour. HAIL LORD XENU.

I actually can’t get the thing opened wide enough to read it, since it’s stuffed with about sixty Scientology cult sign-up cards. So I’m enjoying the opportunity to tool around online for insightful L. Ron quotations:

“This thing is standing in the middle of the room, and it’s going ‘whong whong whong whong whong,’ and he says, ‘Isn’t that pretty!’ ‘It sure is,’ and then he says, ‘Mrmrmrmrmrmrmrmrm–ponk.’ Why, I’ll tell you: they cart him from there, and they take him in and they do a transposition of beingness.”

Lawmakers want ballot issues in sooner

For the second time in two years Ohioans will go to the polls Tuesday and see an issue that hasn’t legally qualified for the ballot–so the votes don’t count.

In an effort to end what they term as a waste of taxpayer dollars and increased voter confusion, Reps. Jon Peterson, R-Delaware, and Dan Stewart, D-Columbus, have teamed up to sponsor a bill that would require that petitions for ballot issues be filed at least 125 days before an election, rather than the current 90 days.

Secretary of State Jennifer Brunner also is supporting the measure, to be introduced next week. The changes have long been sought by the Ohio Association of Election Officials as a way to help ease the strain on county boards of elections.

An invalid referendum attempting to overturn a new law regulating Ohio strip clubs will appear on many optical scan ballots, though the group pushing the initiative failed to collect enough valid signatures to qualify. Ballots were printed before the issue was killed.–Columbus Dispatch.

A good idea. I would even suggest that the lead time be longer: a full 180 days. And that ballot issues only be considered in the November general election. (And that elections be held only in February, May, August, and November–period. But I digress.)

Having voted absentee in the vast majority of elections, I am particularly sensitive to having ballots mailed out from boards of election that have nullified issues/candidates on them. The biggest problem is with ballots sent to voters overseas–specifically to members of the military. If they get the ballots at all, there are elections where they need to get them turned around so fast that they might not have a chance to study the issues and the candidates and make fully informed choices.

We ought to be able to set up the system such that the ballot is set by a date certain–maybe 60 days before an election. After that, there ought to be a way to freeze legal challenges to any person or matter on the ballot. It’s crazy that set after set of absentee ballots went out to voters (including me) containing an issue that did not qualify for inclusion.

Having said that, I’m still trying to figure out why an issue like this is coming before the voters. We elect a General Assembly for what reason? (Oh, yeah: to pass strip club laws in the first place.)

…I would restore the Oxygen Channel, which was just moved to the premium cable tier, to the local basic package.

Because that Tyra person is lovely and has pretty eyes, and it’s fun to be flipping around the channels and find that she’s on.