I Don’t Get Raking

My landlord called yesterday to ask if I could re-mow the yard today, even though I did it on Tuesday–he wants to put down fertilizer tomorrow. And he asked me to rake the yard afterward.

1. We don’t have a yard–we have a waste of time. Fifteen feet by ten feet; that might not even qualify for the “postage stamp” designation. Best to stop fooling around, turn it into a big flower bed, and visit the middle school campus next door if we want to know what grass looks like.

2. I don’t get raking. Dead grass clippings on top of live grass–big deal. Does it pose a threat? Do dead leaves pose a threat? ‘Cause some of them are still around from last year; I think they’ve mulched quite nicely. Ain’t it all nature? Besides–if I rake our “yard,” all the crap in the neighbors’ yards will just blow over and nullify my work.

3. All that being said, I miss having a yard. And a house not connected to other houses. And non-insane traffic. And living in a state instead of a commonwealth.

4. I don’t get commonwealths, either.