And Chairman Kean and Vice-Chairman Hamilton said unto their fellow 9/11 Commissioners:  "Let us make tablets of stone with commandments upon them, that we mayest go forth unto the House and Senate and say, ‘Thus saith the LORD your God:

THOU SHALT DEVELOP A COORDINATED GLOBAL STRATEGY OF DIPLOMACY AND PUBLIC RELATIONS TO COUNTERACT THE SPREAD OF TERRORIST GROUPS.

THOU SHALT DECLASSIFY THE INTELLIGENCE BUDGET OF THE UNITED STATES.

THOU SHALT RESTRUCTURE THE CONGRESSIONAL COMMITTEE SYSTEM, PLACING AUTHORIZING AND APPROPRIATING AUTHORITY IN THE SAME HANDS.

THOU SHALT OVERTHROW THE GOVERNING REGIME IN SAUDI ARABIA.’"

And the Commission members rose up and went into the mount of God to inscribe these commandments on two tablets, engraved with the writing of the LORD.

And a cloud covered the mount, and the glory of the LORD abode there among them.

And the Commissioners presented their report to the Republican-controlled Congress.

And the members of Congress gathered around their leaders and said, "Come, let us deliberate in our various committees and consider the equity and feasibility of these recommendations."

And the Commissioners said unto the Congress:  "How darest thou question the wisdom of the LORD, thou stiff-necked people! Thou hast received the commandments of the Committee, and thou shalt implement them!"  And the Commissioners set forth on a nationwide tour, where they basketh’d in their own glory, proclaiming the wisdom of God’s own commandments unto the Congress.

And the Congress said, "What giveth? Are we not the elected representatives of the people? Who doth these appointed commissioners think they art? They exceedeth the mandate set forth in statutory law that governeth their actions!"

And the Commissioners roused the people against their Congress, saying, "Thus thou wilt say to the Republican-controlled House and Senate: ‘Thou shalt immediately implement all of the commandments of the LORD your God as written in the 9/11 Commission Report.’"

And the people said unto the Congress:  "What they saith, thou shalt do! And, while thou art at it, thou shouldst fix the Social Security program–but thou must not cutteth my benefits or raiseth the retirement age or increaseth taxes!"

And the Congress said, "We shalt take that under advisement."

And the anger of the people was aroused, and they votethed the Republicans out of office.

And the Democrats pledged to immediately implement all of the commandments of the LORD.

And Speakeress Pelosi descended from the heavens and said, "Now that the culture of corruption hast been eradicated from the land and the future hast been delivered unto the hands of our children, let us go forth and implement the vast majority of these commandments."

And Commissioner Roemer saith unto Speakeress Pelosi, "Thou harlot! Thou once wert full of justice, dwelling in righteousness, but now thou darest to proclaim less than complete adherence to the commandments of the LORD! Thou wert elected on thine pledge to implement all of the commandments."

And Speakeress Pelosi said, "We shalt take that under advisement, but not in the first hundred hours of my wise governance."

And the anger of the Commissioners burned, and they threw the tablets out of their hands, breaking them to pieces at the foot of the Capitol. And Vice-Chairman Hamilton said unto them, "Each of us now wilt strap a sword to his side, and go back and forth through the Capitol from one end to the other, slaying in the name of the LORD all who dare oppose his mighty commandments."

And Chairman Kean said unto him, "Perhaps instead we shouldst just go forth and write another book–I couldst use the money to help pay my son’s senatorial campaign debts."

HAVANA (Reuters) - Ailing Cuban leader Fidel Castro said on Tuesday that he was not well enough to attend the opening of several days of events celebrating his 80th birthday.

"I’m not in medical condition to be there," Castro said in a statement read by a presenter to thousands of supporters from dozens of countries at the start of a gala in Havana’s Karl Marx theater that was to mark the opening of the celebrations.

Tihs pciture has to be fkae.  Has to be.  But if it’s not fkae–if it’s rael…gotta proorfead those sgins bfeore the cmaeras start snappign pitcures.

"I am not ‘running’ for president. I am seeking to create a movement to win the future by offering a series of solutions so compelling that if the American people say I have to be president, it will happen."–Newt Gingrich.

What a tool.

"We’re going to raise it and raise it and raise it and raise it and raise it!"

Q. Ted Kennedy made the above statement in:

a. 2006, regarding the minimum wage

b. 1969, regarding the Oldsmobile he’d just driven to the bottom of the lake

The title part is supposed to say "Sucks to your asmar!" somewhere, but I don’t see it.  I’ll eventually figure out how to alter the template, but it’s late right now and I’m sleepy and need to be awake tomorrow for a job interview of sorts.

So sucks to your asmar!  That’s good enough for right now.

Wowee.  This might be a touch early to pass judgement on the Blogsome dealie, but I’m liking it a lot, even after typing just twenty-five words on it.  Into it.  Using it, maybe.

Of course, I’m a refugee from the land of Blogger Beta, so anything this side of scratching in the dirt with a twig is a step up.  I mean, God go with you Blogger Beta folks and all, but really.  I had just finished typing a very important post (!!!!!) making fun of Nancy Pelosi, and the whole thing just went poof.  Poof.  It even made that sound as it failed to post.  Ridiculous.

But this Blogsome dealie gives me a good vibe.  "Try me," it’s saying.  "I dislike Nancy Pelosi and her socialist nonsense as much as you do.  I’ll never make a post go poof that takes cheap shots at her."  And that’s exactly what I want to hear right now.  Exactly.